Writing about my ayahuasca experiences this summer is difficult; I have alluded to problems in a previous post. Essentially the ayahuasca gateway for Westerners lies in the same consumerist philosophy I was attempting to upend. Many ayahuasca disciples find their ayahuasqueros via the internet, finding their first contact with the shamans (or their representatives) through email; I fell into this category. Next one must pass through a gauntlet of technological devices, and bureaucracy, buying a plane ticket, submitting to a customs search and declaration, and a series of cab and bus rides before one can arrive at the center for decentering, “la iglesia de la vida” as a wise friend once put it. Sometimes I feel, after glazing over the superficial ayahuasca “text” available to me, I recklessly clicked the link below and entered my credit card number.
it's like paradise in your mind
While paradoxical, the traveling process is not inherently exploitative; I would vouch for its sheer necessity given the circumstances. For support, I turn again to the amazing Hakim Bey (aka Peter Lamborn Wilson) in his essay “Moorish Mail-Order Mysticism”. Bey comes right out and says it: “Do-it-yourself Enlightenment? Why not? It may not be the best way or the only way but it is a way.” In this statement Bey expunges enlightenment of its often weighty and pretentious moral baggage. A way, any way, holds potential validity as a source of truth. I was tempted to add, “as long as the seeker follows the way in a mindful manner” to the preceding statement, but that would reunite enlightenment with an artificial highmindedness unknown to the Kichwa communities who are the effectual guardians of the truths ayahuasca holds. In any event, the nomination of a process of events as a “way” precludes a potential seeker’s carelessness and unmindfulness in the pursuit of that way.
Perhaps then what is most important is not even mindfulness with regard to approaching touchy cultural interactions such as my consumption of ayahuasca but rather an inner affirmation of spiritual direction and relevance.
Thus Bey’s pilgrim can only be acccurate to the extent of the confirmed meaning of the word pilgrim, and I can imagine situations in which an unknowing tourist becomes a pilgrim by virtue of inner revelation (perhaps even the kind brought on by touristic use of ayahuasca). On the other side of the coin, pilgrims must constantly affirm the object of their quest from the inside or they run the risk of slipping into tourism.
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